Gottman advises against asking any that is“why since, in spite of how well-intended, they tend in the future off as critique:

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Gottman advises against asking any that is“why since, in spite of how well-intended, they tend in the future off as critique: “When you ask, ‘Why do you consider that way?’ Your partner will probably hear, ‘Stop convinced that, you’re incorrect!’ A more effective approach would be, ‘ exactly What leads one to believe that?’ or,